We're all here experiencing many different life paths. Walking in "different shoes" if you will.
I happen to be a mother of a very talented and sarcastic teenager and as you all know a very busy and curious toddler that happens to be autistic.
I'm slowly learning the rhythms of being out in public. As she ages, she gains more independence , as all typical children do of course. And the once wanting to go home is now changed with she wants to go "shopping".
No longer the "fly by the seat of my pants" mentality, it takes a lot of planning and preparing my own brain to even want to take her.
Many store outings are great and there is no concerns, melt downs or the likes and others well... Here's where this blog starts.
When melt downs happen and problems start to arise seeing the faces of others and feeling the judgment just hurts me to the core.
I know that I need to grow a thicker skin around this. And believe me taking care of Hannah and her needs are my main focus and priority.
But there is just something very unsettling to me from these stares of judgment and especially those from another mother , who knew they could look at you so harsh.
To them I just want to scream, "Haven't you had challenging moments"
A very recent eating out scenario started out okay but quickly turned into a fiasco when a bit of water spilled on her clothes and she wanted them off immediately.
She started to not only get angry and shout but undress herself right there by our restaurant table.
Most other customers were trying to stay focused on their own conversation but others were giving that judging look, the take the kid out of her look that made me feel awful for my daughter and the situation.
With as much grace as I could muster I took her out to the car to holler and for me to cry.
I texted my dear friend to help peel me off the ceiling and let Hannah finish her melt down as well. I knew in that moment that things would be okay. That this is an "autistic episode" that once the dust settles and her comfort level without wet clothes was restored my sweet loving and caring girl would be back.
But with that said, I did run away so they wouldn't have to see me cry. Proud maybe
but truthfully I didn't want anyone to feel they'd won or give them the satisfaction of thinking I did this for them.
I took care of my daughter in removing her from an uncomfortable situation and allowed her the appropriate amount of time that she needed to calm down and feel safe again.
I see that now and have learned for the future. Perahaps next time I will be more prepared to just carry on and work with the situation with out removing us. Either way I no I've become one step closer to figuring this all out.
What have been your experiences and how did you handle them?
I found these few quotes that resignated with me as a parent but also with this particular situation as well.
Our young kids don't realize their differnces or understand why they feel or do what they do. We need to keep things positive as much as possible and give them reassurance that all will be well and your loving arms provide a safe place
for them to be who they are...
“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible — the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.” - Virginia Satir
“Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.” - Alvin Price -
Taken from...
- : http://www.betterparenting.com/25-inspirational-parenting-quotes/#sthash.pfW21ake.dpuf
Carry on families and know that there is always a brighter side and the situation will be better...
But most importantly it's OK to cry!!